Its a dismal dream

Talked to mom today, doing well...incessant headaches...i worry of course. They plague here like locusts and wont claim her first born, but her mind is becoming less sharp. Older I suppose...hope thats the least. Tells me she spoke to Jarad, says he is doing well, gets his offical orders in a few weeks, finals dates, last rites, goodbyes, tears, screams, yelling at God...He tells her that he looks forward to bed, because since he arrived everynight when he sleeps he dreams of us, dreams of the ones he loves...says everyone is there and he is happy. So simple, so wonderful...beautiful in fact, cant say that i've ever been so dedicated to my family in my dreams. found out that my life is going to change from what i've known, everything i've stived for for the past 22 years is going to inexplicably be not what it was...writer perhaps, homeless person, woody guthrie maybe, i have no idea. told my ties to my family or a family will fade at this point in my life...more later....tired...and depressed...wish i was somewhere else perhaps