all fire and no couch

Soccer players - sorry futbol players - are quite possibly the biggest queens in professional sports. this statement doesn't come from malice towards the game of soccer or any toby keith 'america is a giant lump of ass-whoopin' country song, but rather the fact that while being significantly intoxicated and twisted on various uppers - i noticed how any time these spiked (usually spanish speaking) athletes touch one another they both fall over in a fit, like they were epileptics in a strobelight factory. this however isnt the most entertaining part, its the fact that they get away with this brokeback-esque hissy fit and usually to the effect of the other team getting a card of some form. i think this is just the ignorance in me, but understanding the game of soccer (as i was formerlly a soccer player)...(well when i was twelve)- makes me realize that when i did play this game that i remember fewer penalties than i see in professional soccer (aside from kevin brandstetter in 5th grade slide tackling two players, getting removed from the game, proceeding to tell the ref to fuck off before slidtackling him, slide tackling three of his own players including me, then being banned from the Catholic Youth Council soccer leagues....he would later be removed from baseball for brandishing a helmet as a weapon after his mother announced that he should hit the ball because he no longer 'had diahrehea' - mother bring out the worst in kids). that aside i love the world cup and the fetivities that surround it - but for the love of fucking god - please just get up and kick a camera man instead of throwing a barbara striesand bitch fit...